Stop Complaining.

I've decided to stop complaining in 2023.

Who's with me!?

Here is why. Regardless of the context, complaining contaminates any conversation. We know this to be true. Even a complaint that is contained within myself can debilitate me from the inside out.

I don't have to convince you that complaining is unhealthy. We know it's toxic. We know it causes stress and anxiety. A recent article in Psychology Today unpacks WHY we still complain, even when we know it's destroying us. And still, we give ourselves over to it. Why?

Allow me to hang my own dirty laundry and tell you why...for me. I'm talking about pride. When I complain, my complaining usually orbits around how I was done wrong, diminished, or dismissed. Essentially, I had an expectation and things didn't go my way. And now, there is tension within my ego and at the core of my tension is a reality that I think I know better and I could do it better. If I'm really honest, I may even feel that I AM better.

I know, I wouldn't come out an admit it. I may not even consciously be aware of such a thought. Neither would you. However, I'd encourage you to dig deep on this one. The very idea that I felt that I was wronged, demonstrates a posture of privilege above the person who has offended or crossed a boundary or line that I drew or set in place. The way that I acted demonstrates a preference of me over the other person. Yes their action was rude. Yes it was wrong but was my response to that wrongdoing a right or even righteous response? That is, was my response in alignment with God's right way of living, acting, or thinking? More often than not, the answer is "no."

Leaders, the Bible gives us an alternative to complaining rooted in humility, not pride. Here it is:

• First, we are to do everything without complaining or arguing, a response that is rooted in humility, kindness, and grace, as God has demonstrated for us.

Check out Philippians 2:1-18.

• Simultaneously, we are to exchange the anxiety that complaining causes with thanksgiving. It's not enough to simply "try" not to complain. It's about exchanging one posture (pride) for another (humility). That is what the Gospel does in us. That's what the Gospel calls us to.

Check out Philippians 4:6-7

If you skipped over reading the Scripture, please go back and read. Those readings are critical to this conversation.

Finally, it is essential that we understand a core truth about the Gospel that confronts complaining. I don't think I could say it better than Tim Keller in a recent Twitter post. He writes that - "If Jesus didn’t complain when he received a life infinitely worse than he deserved, how can I complain while I experience a life infinity better than I deserve?"

Wow! This quote simply flatlined my perspective and devastated my ego.

When I consider all that God has done and is doing in my life, I'm absolutely humbled and grateful. Additionally, I'm embarrassed by the things that I complain about when I consider what I have. Are there legitimate circumstances where I am justified in my frustration? Maybe. However, the formula that is given to us by doesn't change. May God give me a gracious tenacity and strength to change my posture this next year. God knows, I cannot do it by myself.

I'm praying the same for you this next year. May God shower you with the same kind of grace this year. Paul

Bonus: Here is another article with biblical ideas that can be engaged instead of complaining.

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